August 2009
131 posts
bearjewfacts:
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and the Bear Jew.
One the one hand: So glad there is a bear jew tumblr. On the other…can’t help feeling like this is Eli Roth’s personal blog.
YM Shabbas Dinner
About to leave, now DJ AM died. Because we can’t make it ONE FUCKING DAY this summer without someone dying.
Anyone Want to Buy My Sister's Bike? Best Offer! →
Party Game: Make Movies Sound Boring *A lot of...
Me: Woman opens movie theater during world war 2, decides against it.
Dad: The Time Machine with machine guns in this WWII action comedy.
Me: Ocean's 11, for angry Jews.
Dad: Jews win WWII and avert future Middle East situation.
Dad: Eli Roth proves that there are Jewish athletes.
(Ricky changes the film)
Me: illegal aliens are herded into shantytowns, things go poorly from there
Ricky: A young man has trouble dealing the perils of being a teenager so he spends time educating himself about time travel.
Me: A teenager and his fear of rabbits lead him on hijinks culminating in the destruction of Patrick Swayze's reputation.
Dad: Gary Busey plays Keanu's wingman in this "surf's up" comedy.
Ricky: Five guys find that dressing up as ex-presidents can lead you into some pretty 'extreme' situations.'
Dad: Keanu Reeves take the wrong drug and wakes up with his head shaved.
Me: Down-on-their-luck New Yorkers try to get into the head of Academy Award winner to find out what makes him tick.
Ricky: A writer has trouble with adapting a novel into a screenplay so he asks his twin brother for some help.
Me: OR! "Susan Orlean's book is turned into a movie, with certain liberties taken."
Dad: Soldier returns to Vietnam, takes a boat ride, and then decides not to stay.
Dad: Youngest son returns home a war hero and takes over the family business to his eventual regret.
Dad: An accountant and a broadway producer end up in jail.
Dad: Dude gets his rug stolen and his room never looks the same again.
Dad/Me: "Drug deal goes bad. Man with a terrible haircut never meets the sheriff" OR "Drug deal goes bad. Sheriff never catches the bad guy with a terrible haircut because he doesn't look behind the door."
Ricky: Sad Jim Carrey gets brain surgery.
Dad: Two gay guys become rock stars. Based on Citizen Kane, but with better music.
Me: A man wakes up in London, to be devoid and finds it devoid of brainy-types. Everyone is faster than expected though.
Dad: Military lawyer can't handle the truth.
The Moral Authority of Tarantino's Women
natashavc:
He writes it so well.
Agree or disagree? Strongly agree, or strongly disagree? I heard someone mention in an interview once that for all his characters’ blah-blah bullshit, he was raised by a single mother so that’s where the female agency in his films comes from. But you know who else was raised by their mother? Hitler.
Latest Dear Drew on Street Carnage →
Things I learned at Daredevil Tattoo today
1. Last week, a crackhead came in and offered to sell them my stolen bike. How do I know it was mine? They described it as a Schwinn Cutter 2009, with a black basket that tilted forward. The crackhead was selling it for $60.
2. One of the employees Chi is a big horror movie buff, and went to Forbidden Planet last week to hear Eli Roth talk about Inglourious Basterds. Apparently there was nobody...
Thanks Videogum, I'll sign your baseball bat →
youngmanhattanite:
lock:
youngmanhattanite:
My god, I was thinking the other day, when is Lock gonna get on Tumblr? The answer is now.
Thanks, AK. Hugs. Okay, so I followed the 30 or so usual suspect Tumblr tumblrs I subscribe to in RSS (#oldskool, #netnewswire). Who else?
DogsAreAdorable
Could be big if she ever got up before 2pm.
I’m UP, motherfucker. Also, what people fail to...
don't trust a man without a middle name
spiers:
peterfeld:
Doesn’t the 8. get a period?
I didn’t realize it was an initial. (For 8888888?)
What about a woman who has the middle name of a man? Trustworthy?
Beck Online →
fimoculous:
Have you been watching the weird stuff that Beck has been doing online? In record club, he and friends covered all of Velvet Underground & Nico; in planned obsolescence, he’s made some post-GirlTalk mixed tapes.
He’s just ingratiating himself with the Anonymous contingent on 4chan so as better report back to headquarters.
“But I really feel that this movie comes from Quentin’s soul, and I think what...”
– SlashFilm interview w/ Eli Roth by @hunterstep. Great job! Also: true story. If I was auditioning senior shorts in High School, I would totally try to get the drama teacher let us do the cellar drinking scene in Inglourious Basterds.
Anyone else see Sen. Chuck Schumer at Girl Talk... →
Dear Facebook,
Please tell the app designers of LivingSocial and the Honesty Box that their hard work and effort makes me hate using that website.
Also no spoilers but “The Jewish Bear” is something Eli Roth has been waiting his whole life for someone to call him. Weirdest casting in the film (besides the Mike Meyers cameo and the Sam Jackson voiceover): If you’re going to go through the trouble of finding obscure foreign actors to speak half the movie in their own language, than at least try to cast a BFF who has a range...
WatchLittle does everyone know, Laurie Anderson was the original inspiration for Tim and Eric.
Watch
Watch
Advertising Is JetBlue’s “All-You-Can-Jet” Sellout... →
This is for BaxterP and BrianVan. You played right into their little game!
Watchfuckyeahteamventure:
Venture Bros. season four promo
Oh God, I’m dying.
Insomnia
Do you know what my average bed time is? 6 am. If I’m lucky…if not, then we have days like today, where it’s almost 10 a.m. and I might as well power through the day instead of trying to take a “power nap” that will leave me tossing and turning till 3 p.m.
It’s not just some summer aimlessness either, nor is it my medication, though those are the two things...
How Dick Whitman got his name is probably the funniest thing that’s ever happened on Mad Men.
…then agan, she also just told me arugala doesn’t have breast cancer. So like…I dunno?
My roommate just claimed that all city bus drivers have a deal with Dunkin Donuts. They flash their badges and get to take a shit in any of the locations’ bathrooms.
True story?